“How did I do?”
-I’m not going to talk about how you did. Let’s talk about what you’ll do next time.
Feedback sucks. Positive or negative, it serves no purpose.
What, you’re going to talk to me about something I did in the past? Something that’s over?
No thanks, buddy. The past is gone. Talk to me about the future.
Growing up, my folks patiently smiled their way through my rough recitals, games, races and performances. When I walked off the stage, they knew, maybe inherently, what they wanted to achieve in that moment: make me proud of what I’ve done, and give me the confidence to try again.
They didn’t weigh me down with negative feedback about the past – they picked the right time and place to feed me forward, for the future.
I’ve been fortunate to work with some pros who prioritize feeding me and our teammates forward, rather than back. Here’s what I’ve observed and learned:
Feedback: Comes right after the last engagement.
Feed forward: Comes when you’re preparing for the next engagement.
Feedback: Is about something too late to be changed.
Feed forward: Prepares you for a tangible, upcoming action.
Feedback: “You seemed super nervous up there.”
Feed forward: “Another big speech tomorrow. Come on, let’s go get on stage today and run through some lines.”
Feedback: “You should’ve told the story about the goat. That would’ve been better.”
Feed forward: “Hey! I know you want to engage tomorrow’s audience with stories and personal experience. Last quarter’s meeting really got me thinking about the story with the goat. Think that could work tomorrow?”
Feedback: “Hey Dave, your last blog post sucked.”
Feed forward: “I always feel better knowing a friend has given my posts a sanity check. Here’s one I’ve been working on, do you have time to read it over? Is there anything I could read through to return the favor?”
Feedback: Gets some thoughts off your chest. Puts the responsibility on your leader or colleague to remember and apply the lesson.
Feed forward: You retain personal responsibility and control. You drive the improvements at a time when the leader or colleague will internalize the action.
Feedback: Is easy.
Feed forward: Is hard. And effective.
(Photo by Matthew Moeller, DVIDS)
