I was talking to a young(er) PAO about an issue he had. He needed to talk with his boss about it. He was reluctant. I know his boss and his boss is a pretty nice guy.
Being approachable is important. Human to human contact is how we solve problems, it’s how we come up with great ideas. We communicate with each other to make progress and to identify (personal or professional) friction points before they become bigger problems.
The young PAO and I came up with a strategy and he talked with his boss.
He said his boss was actually pleasant to talk to. He was surprised, the boss was approachable. The boss was happy to help.
Why didn’t the young PAO think his boss was open to conversation in the first place?
His boss had an RLF – Resting Leader Face. He appeared unapproachable. Always busy, maybe even annoyed or troubled.
Despite the memo hanging on the wall that says we have an open door policy. Despite the speeches we give about being open to help. An RLF will turn subordinates away in a hurry.
This caused me to consider what my RLF looks like. Aside from relaxing your jaw, here’s a few more ways to be approachable:
Lead by walking around: Engage people by name and talk with your folks. Example: Every night in Afghanistan, as I was leaving the commander’s close-out meeting I’d walk through the office. There was always a few people hanging around shooting the shit. It was good to touch base, throw a few good natured insults and real compliments around. I miss that interaction.
Create a culture of openness: Easier said than done but regardless of your busy schedule, your folks should be able to air their ideas, words of support and grievances freely.
Be honest: This is hard but you gotta shoot people straight. Approachability has to do with timing and sometimes you just don’t have the time. Honest responses like, “This is important but I gotta run right now, can we talk tonight?” or maybe harder, “I care about this issue but you’ll be better served talking to [so and so] about it. I’m not your guy.”
Be advised: Make sure you have someone in your work life to tell you the truth. You may not know you’re an unapproachable ass, make sure someone you work with isn’t afraid to tell you so.
Care: When you really give a shit, people know it. If you don’t care then quit the military.
First things first though, I gotta work on my RLF. Can’t be walking around looking like Gunny Highway all day.
Now go and do likewise.
Photo by Cynthia McIntyre
